Monologue of The Week -Broccoli Bacon Mess


Broccoli Bacon Mess

So last night I choked. I really, really choked, you know, the real deal. The coughing thing, the watery eyes thing, my hands on my throat thing. I couldn’t breathe for about 10 seconds, well it felt like 10 minutes, but you know what I mean. It all started because I wouldn’t eat my broccoli. I mean, come on, who wants to eat broccoli anyway? Not me. So my dad sizzled up some bacon, which smelled really, really good, and cut it up and covered it all over my broccoli. There was more bacon than broccoli, and I was like, sure why not. So I took a huge forkful of the stuff, shoved that heaping pile of bacon-broccoli in my mouth and it tasted so good I didn’t think to start chewing. I just kind of swallowed it all in one gulp, and then something bad happened. That huge glob of broccoli-bacon got stuck right here, right where it is supposed to go down, but well, it didn’t, and that’s where things got bad and got bad fast. I stood up and grabbed the table, and I moved my head forward to try and throw up the mess, but that didn’t work. I wasn’t sure how long I was going to hold my breath, and I was very scared. My dad rushed over and smacked my back a few times and the next thing I know I was coughing real hard and that huge glob of bacon and broccoli started falling out of me. I think some of it even came out of my nose. It went all over the table, and some of it landed on the floor. I took a few deep breaths, and my mom helped me to calm down. I started to cry, and then I laughed. After I laughed a little more Dad asked if I wanted some more broccoli and bacon. I passed on that one.

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